I used to love writing. When I was a kid I had limitless ideas and concepts floating around in this head of mine. I embraced creativity. I had aspirations to be a journalist, or at the very least somehow involved in media. Countless years later I am neither, and although it’s probably not the norm for someone to fulfill their childhood dream job (I think my first was actually ‘teacher’, but it was probably just because I enjoyed writing on a chalkboard at the time), I think I do have some regrets of not pursing things further. As usual, I stayed on the path of practicality, the importance of which was put into my head by the standard Asian mindset of my parents, who place emphasis on being a professional above most other things. I am sure they would love me either way, however I’m sure they are quite relieved I’m now in a steady 9-5 complete with my own cubicle, portfolio of responsibilities, and job title. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy my job, cause i do – there are some very good days (along with occasional stressful days), and the potential to grow is there,  but it’s hard not to wonder how it would be if I absolutely loved my job, and actually looked forward to work on a daily basis. I would love to work in an industry doing something I had passion for, and personal interest in. I think more than anything our generation really does not want to settle - settle for jobs, settle in personal relationships, settle for less than what they believe they deserve. This is great in its own way, but it always leaves us wanting more, and wondering what else is out there for us. Sure practicality by definition makes sense, but not as much if it doesn’t yield some sort of absolute happiness. So in the end I think I have to compromise – find the aspects of this job that I really enjoy and take an optimistic view, as well as rekindling my interest in some of the things that I pushed aside in favour of realism.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I think I’ve adaquately recovered from both of my recent vacations. My sleeping patterns are back to normal, I can concentrate again, and I’ve regained enough sanity to tell myself I have to slow down on the shopping until the end of the summer. (psychologically the ‘no tax’ factor and good exchange rate does wonders in justifying a purchase – or several as the case may be) I love travel as much as the next person, but it does take a lot out of you. I have 4 months to rest up for the next destination in November.

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tomorrow I get to put all the useless knowledge I have occupying so much of my brain to the test. My friend and I have registered for a trivia competition for our university alumni. Being the type that always tries to play along with Jeopardy/who wants to be a millionaire, this should be interesting. Wish us luck. Lol.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m a list maker, and this month’s list of things to do is longer than ever. I think by making these lists, that I’m partially the cause of my own stress, but maybe I just need that push to make sure things get done. Crossing things off the list feels good too. Work has been especially busy lately and I find myself unable to separate work thoughts from time outside of work, which I hate. I guess it’s eventually ineveitable when you spend more waking time in the workplace than any other place. I actually don’t mind what I do, so I shouldn’t complain, but I really don’t want to become consumed by it like so many people around me are.

Speaking of work, a good friend who works in advertising called me yesterday to let me know that she went to the Canwest Global fall line up launch and almost fainted when she found out Wentworth Miller from Prison Break was there promoting the show. Lucky girl! I don’t think staring at Wentworth’s piercing blue eyes could be considered work in the slightest bit. All we get in this office are random hockey players and lunch time performances by canadian pop stars. Maybe I need to consider a career change. Lol.

So when I’m not thinking work related thoughts what am I thinking about? Well first it’s about Sharon leaving in less than a month! I don’t even think it’s really hit her yet either (has it?). I’d be pretty apprehensive about making such a life changing decision, but the girl knows what she wants, which I completely respect. Fun times planned before she leaves for good. I’ve got my camera ready (because she should be too drunk to operate her own!).

Secondly, a hot trip is booked and ready to go. I know it’s starting to get hot here, but really what is hot without palm trees and white sandy beaches? Hot is a complaint more than a treat. (I don’t know why Canadian’s can’t be satisfied with weather one way or another)  [Sorry nhien, I don’t think I can have that tanning competition with you. I’m not in the same league. Aren’t you still tan from your last trip?] Not that much longer to wait…

Pair that will a million other little things and you can get an idea of why my mind is racing now. May just dissapeared. June is going to be a whirlwind…

i received some good news this morning. i am estatic to keep my short commute, window seat, free parking and late wake up call. part of me was actually starting to look forward to a move for a little change of scene, but as someone recently told me, working downtown is pretty overrated (I choose to believe them). I’ll still be going back and forth occassionally, but there is something comforting about knowing that if I ever really needed a nap, I could go home during lunch and take one.

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my guilty pleasure as of late has been watching those half an hour pseudo reality shows that they have on MTV. i need to think up a killer concept and pitch it to them, although i'm sure almost everything has been tried by now. (but really, all you need are great editors and you could make almost anything look interesting). Like an accident that you can’t help but stare at, I find myself periodically flipping to channel 59 and stopping on shows like ‘super sweet 16’ where parents spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on their usually bratty, spoiled and arrogant girl’s 16^th birthday party. as drowning in excess as it is, I have to admit it is entertaining in a sickening kind of way (I think anyone who has watched before will know what I mean). maybe cause it’s reminiscent of my own 16^th birthday celebration which was spent eating pizza and watching movies at my house. okay, not quite. The real stand out to me though is the show ‘8^th & Ocean’ about models living together in miami which is surprisingly not as superficial as the concept might seem. (but obviously somewhat superficial cause it is about models) I’m addicted for now.

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looking forward to this weekend. hopefully it contains no TV.

I am tired, I am unfocused, I am restless. yes, such is the first day back to work after a vacation. today is a write off, but at least I got to clear out my exploding inbox. And it’s nice to see that my plant is still alive.

What can I say except that it was another great week with the girls. Laughter, eating, lounging, sightseeing, eating, picture taking, sleeping, eating, clubbing + a mini road trip – did I mention the eating? Definitely brought me out of my anti-social stupor for at least a little bit. Maybe if we follow through on our plans (well, my plans for now) we’ll be meeting in more remote and exotic locations around the world in a couple of years time. (anyone else in renaissance hotel bed withdrawal? Those beds were so damn comfy)

So the first question I was asked when I got back was “is the myth true?” said myth being that Vancouverites (is that what they’re called?) are on the whole better looking than Torontonians. I can’t quite answer this question – maybe I’m biased, but I’m sure other people have formed more definite opinions. I can say however, that these so called better looking people drive too slow and don’t dress warmly enough for the weather.

Mr Golden Sun, how I’ve missed you.